After reading dear dear's blog, i felt that i'm so useless. I can't even help my dear dear to overcome her emotions. Yet i'm busy with my upcoming fair that will be happening these 3days. and monday i'm having company dinner. sighz....about 4 days i cannot see dear dear.

Past few days, i wanted to discuss the housing thingy with dear dear but she got emotional and pretty unhappy. I understand becos i too got emotional and say some things that are not nice to hear.

Anyway it's my fault, blame it as i dun have the capabilites to fulfil dear dear's dream of having our own house now. Have to ask her to compromise to live with my parents first.

If in the first place, this living together doesn't exist. We will not end up like that.

And furthermore, for dear dear's job wise, she's having some probs and difficulties in it. I can't help also.

When i saw dear dear wrote that she should listen to her mum that why do we have our customary so fast? Actually there's a planning already. I've already share it with you, and you say ok with it. My heart sank. I felt sad and useless that i can't gave her a happy marriage.

Dear i understand it is not nice to be treated like a patient.I know you want to show pple that you 're normal. But the fact is you're not totally normal. You need to be taken care of. I have my reason for doing all these. I know you love the sun and sea and outdoor. but all this will do you harm. I really hope that you understand.

We as yr loved ones ard you see you doing this, our hearts will hurt. Dear i know that you wan to strive hard and aim for a house end of next yr but yr health is much much more impt than anything. I rather the one with disease is me.

Dear we didn't want you to prove anything to us. Pls do not press yrself to prove anything.

what you mind by you dun mind to be hard on yrself? I mind becos it will affects yr health.

Dear you say you will love yr house and family, until that it seems that you dun want to marry to me. You say that you would like to go back to yr house often. It is not very nice as you have already been married over liao..still go back "liang jia" so often. So what is married life? You can always visit them anytime, anywhere.

Who say you have not ahieve anything? you have a hubby, a house to stay, food to eat and loved ones to play with. if you talk abt achievement. I should be the one that have no achievements.

Since you say that life is full of regrets and contradiction. Why not live yr life with no regrets and simple? Maybe changing the life prespective it will help?

And dun worry abt having kids or no kids.. it's not a big issue as my parents would like you to have good health. AND i did not regret marrying you, i only regret that i didn't take good care of you.

Dear sorry for these coming 3 days. I won't be able to accompany you but i hope that you can get yr tots sorted out.

Love you

Laogong